Port Charles: Variations on a Theme
by ILETUDRIVE
Summary: What would you do to fix General Hospital? This is what I would have done, at least in August 2001, when it was written. Come in, it's funnier then I make it sound here.


****

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters I merely like to abuse them. However there is one new character in this, a rather annoying one named Stephanie. Anyone wanting to claim ownership of her, is welcome.

****

Feedback: I managed to pull one lurker in for which I am forever grateful. So please drop me a line.

****

Author's Notes: This piece was originally written in August of 2001, in response to a challenge on how you would fix GH if you visited the place. It's written first person style and is the first time I ever did that, but it is funny, I hope. If I make you laugh at least once I've done my job. At the end of the 'visit' I included a sample show. This features a lot of the cast and a lot of surprises. So give it a whirl

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

****

Port Charles: Variations on a Theme

"But mom are you sure about this, you know this is me, your daughter Stephanie, who can get lost on a one way street." I said into the cell, while popping in a new CD and passing a station wagon with a Honk if You're a Beaver Lover bumper sticker on the tailgate.

__

"Yes, your cousin is expecting you, and it's real easy to find. It's a straight shot up highway 101, even you won't have a problem."

"If you say so, it will be good to see Jennifer again, but when did she move to New York? I thought her and her brood were still in Kansas?"

__

"They do, you're going to see Elizabeth."

I glanced at my watch, it was a bit early in the day for her, but okay. "Mom I don't have a cousin Elizabeth."

__

"Yes you do, Jeff's daughter, she lives there near your Grandmother."

"Mom Gram lives in Kansas, you know a mile from you?" I retorted, the Silver Bullet must have made an early appearance today.

__

"Your other Grandmother, Stephanie."

"Okay now you're starting to freak me out Mom. My other Grandmother died when I was in Sixth Grade, and I don't have an Uncle Jeff, or a cousin Elizabeth." I broke off to pass a 18-wheeler, "So what is this new Grandmother of mine's name, and where the hell have all the Christmas presents been?"

__

"It's…."

There is a bright flash of light and my cell goes dead.

"Mom?…….Yo Hello…….. So much for the free and clear plan, all across the country." I mutter hitting the end button on my cell and tossing it on the passenger seat.

I reached down and turned up the radio, at least the CD player still worked, thank god, talk radio sucked. I glanced back at the road in time to catch a glimpse of a sign, I slammed on the brakes and threw it in reverse, thankful that for once, the car decided to back up on command, also I was pretty happy that no one was behind me. I looked at the sign again.

PORT CHARLES 11 Miles

"I have a cousin I have never met, who lives in Port Charles, near a Grandmother I've never met either." I mumble putting the car in gear again. "Maybe I shouldn't have mixed the Endocet, with the Naprosyn today."

~**Elm Street~**

"According to Mom's not so clear directions the phantom Elizabeth lives around the corner, I hope the name of the street is not prophetic." I got out of my beat-up 86 Saab, and look longingly at the Jag convertible next to it. "Sweet."

I took another glance at the convertible before walking into the alcove. "What the…" I stopped by some tables, this place looked freakishly familiar. Alright so I'm having a very vivid, pain medication induced dream, no big deal it's happened before. I sniff the air, of course I don't normally remember the smells of hamburgers and water in my dreams, but anything is better than the snake dream, or the falling off a cliff dream.

"Excuse me." A male voice sounded from behind me.

"Oh sorry." I move quickly to the left near the table that is against the wall. Only to sink limply into the seat when Mike Corbin walked by, wait I mean Ron Hale.

"Tammy are we still on for tonight?" Mike/Ron addressed the tall blonde with the frizzy hair.

"Oh good Tammy's back." I mutter. I had always liked Patricia Healy better than Tamara Clatterbuck.

"Yeah we are Mike, but if you stand me up again." Tammy shook her finger at him in warning, before heading in my direction. "What can I get you?"

Uh a Clue? "I'm waiting for someone Tammy." Good my voice worked, I'm so happy.

"Okay?" Tammy cocked her head eyeing me with suspicion. "Have you been here before? You don't look familiar to me."

"Been here?" I used to come here daily for 15 years but that was before the idiots. "No I haven't but he just called you Tammy, so I thought it was your name."

"Ok, let me know when you're ready." Tammy said with a smile before heading inside, leaving me alone in the courtyard.

Not that this wasn't real interesting but it was time to wake up now, I pinched my arm, hard. "OWW."

"Are you okay?"

Oh God, I knew that voice. Maybe this whole dream thing wouldn't be so bad. "Yes I'm fine, I just jammed my knee." I looked up at Sonny Corinthos or Maurice Bernard as the case may be. Damn but this could get confusing.

He grinned at my response. Man those dimples were killer in person.

"You should watch out these table have been known to attack the unsuspecting." Sonny said before moving inside.

Why did he always have to wear a jacket? You could never see his ass that way. Speaking of asses, I must mention to Deb, that Johnny's was better in person. 

"Goodbye Scott." I called to test a theory. Scott Egan, or as he was known here Johnny, never even stopped. So that meant in this dream, I was dealing with the characters. That was good, I wasn't as up on the cast as I once was. "Well if this is a dream, let's get going to the next part of it." I got to my feet and headed for the door, I couldn't help but glance at the lock on the door, there was a bolt there, too bad no one ever used it.

I let the door swing closed, and scanned the room, before heading towards the counter. Besides Sonny and the boys, Mac and Dara were at one table, and Felicia and Maxie were at another one. Thank God there was no Lurky in sight.

"Stephanie you're here."

I turned my head cautiously and saw 'Cousin Elizabeth' coming down the stairs to give me a hug. She was a lot smaller in person, and also not pregnant. Okay it's a dream go with it. "Hi Elizabeth."

"I was afraid you got lost, I hear you have that tendency." Elizabeth took a seat at the counter.

I think I'm lost right now. "I see my reputation precedes me. You visit one state when your supposed to be in another, and you never live it down." I sat down beside her. Ha Brown eyes I knew it.

"So how long has it been?" Elizabeth asked.

That was supposed to be my question. Thankfully I was spared a reply when a nauseatingly familiar voice came from behind me. "Hey babe."

"Hi Lucky." Elizabeth smiled slightly, taking his kiss on the cheek. "This is my cousin Stephanie, Steph this is my fiancé Lucky."

Be good, be good, be good. "Hi Lucky it's ni…" not that good. "So we finally meet. It was hard to believe when Elizabeth told me she was marrying someone named Lucky, I thought that was the name of a dog." Damn should've shut up.

"I get that a lot." Lucky admitted.

"I can see why."

"What Steph?" Elizabeth asked.

"Uh, could I get something to drink? It was a long drive." And please take Carl with you, the pain meds are wearing off, and Steph the Bitch will soon be making a return.

"Sure." Elizabeth moved behind the counter.

"Look tonight we're having dinner with Gia and Nikolas, so be ready by 7:00." Lucky said totally ignoring me.

"Lucky I can't I want to spend some time with Steph."

"Lizbeth."

Elizabeth you moron.

"I already told them we were coming. So be ready at 7:00, I'm sure Stephanie here won't mind."

"Actually I do." I replied with a smirk. "But since I really only want to see Elizabeth why don't you go by yourself." And play in some traffic while you're at it.

Lucky looked at me in surprise, before turning back to Elizabeth with a glare. "7:00 right Elizabeth?"

"I'm sorry Lucky I just can't."

"Fine I hope you have fun." Lucky snarled before heading to the door.

"And Shaggy has left the building." I muttered under my breath.

"Shaggy?" Elizabeth asked leaning on the counter.

"You know Shaggy from Scooby Doo? The slouch way of walking, the fuzz on his chin, he's a dead ringer." Thank you Deb for pointing that out to me.

A smile crossed Elizabeth's face, lighting it up for a minute, before she cut it off. "That's not very nice."

"Remember our roles Elizabeth you were the brat, I was the bitch." Okay here was my chance to wake her up. "Is he always like that?"

"He didn't used to be." She said immediately. "I wish you could have met him then, he was great, he's just had a rough couple of years."

"With the whole kidnapping/brainwashing thing?"

"Yes." She stared at me in confusion. "How did you know about that?"

Oh crap. "You told me in your letters." I brazened it out in my best bullshit lawyer voice.

"That's right." She nodded. "He's just not himself right now."

"Elizabeth face facts he hasn't been himself, since the night of the fire."

"That's because of Helena and Faison, its not his fault." Elizabeth defended him immediately, twisting a towel in her hands.

"Fair enough." How the hell do I get past her loyalty mechanism? "But even if the next time you see him, he is the Lucky who danced with you that last night, it wouldn't matter now."

"What do you mean?"

"Elizabeth your not the same person you were when he died, your not the same person you were when he came back either. It's been a long time since you were the girl who fell in love, one innocent summer, with a boy. Neither one of you exists anymore."

"I still love him." She argued desperately.

"I never said you didn't. But tell the truth, it's the boy you picture when you remember how in love you were not the man." And I use that term loosely. "Who is here now."

"Why do you think that?" Her words were a whisper but at least she was listening.

I crossed my fingers under the counter, here went everything. "I had a boyfriend, my first love, he didn't die, but he did leave for a year. We did have sporadic contact, but we didn't see each other for that year. When he came back we both tried to pretend we hadn't changed, that we were the same people we were when he left, because we had promised each other forever." I sighed heavily. "But the thing was we had changed, and more importantly the love we shared had changed. I would always love him, he would always be my perfect first love, so he would have a part of my heart forever, but I wasn't in love with him anymore."

Elizabeth looked at me for a long minute, before slowly shaking her head, but I could see the light in her eyes, that hadn't been there in a very long time. "This is different."

"Why because you're afraid of what would happen if you weren't in love with Lucky anymore? I got to tell you Elizabeth, if that's why you're clinging to him, it's a pretty cowardly reason."

"Excuse me Stephanie." Elizabeth snapped and headed for the kitchen.

I banged my head on the counter, that went well.

"So you think she heard you?"

I kept my eyes closed, and my head on the counter. "Did it look like she finally caught a clue, to you Sonny?"

Sonny laughed and took a seat at the counter. "Are you giving up?"

I sat up and looked at him. "Never, stubbornness, pig-headedness, bull-headedness, their all my middle names."

"That must have been hell to learn how to spell."

"Not really I was a precocious kid." Man I'm flirting with Sonny Corinthos. I wonder where the psycho blonde is? Oh wait she's gone, we have a toothpick with sort of reddish, brownish, blondish, hair now don't we?

"So you're cousins?" He asked gesturing towards Elizabeth.

"So I hear." I smiled again. "I have to say it's nice to finally meet Port Charles's notorious, alleged mobster, Elizabeth has mentioned you."

"Really what does she say?"

"That you still owe her a dinner."

Sonny laughed. "She knows the invitation is on the table anytime she wants to take me up on it."

"Won't your wife mind? After all they don't get along." It was time to butt into his business. Or to use the catch phrase 'bidness.'

"Carly and I are no longer together." Sonny said quietly.

"Does she know that?" I asked.

"I've been clear."

"Really?" And here we go again. "So you told her that there was absolutely no chance for you two? You served her with the papers and everything?"

"You certainly are curious for someone I've never met." His dark eyes were sharp.

"I'm insatiably curious, when you have no life you take great pleasure in observing other people's lives." I said cheekily. "So you changed the locks on the Penthouse? Oh wait you didn't need to do that, you have a new door don't you?"

"You certainly know a lot for someone, I've just met." The suspicion was evident in his eyes.

Time for damage control. "Elizabeth is quite the little penpal. Besides I've found that sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger, to someone you will never see again, than a friend." And since you seem to have two friends, and one is missing, I would listen to me.

"Maybe I tried that already." 

"Yeah well try it with someone who wears color." I mutter, before turning to face him again. "It's up to you."

Sonny rubbed a hand over his chin, before resting his head on it. "It's hard to break the vows I made before God."

"Well didn't she break them first?" I asked. "And by doing so didn't she kind of turn into another person? So you're not breaking your vows to the real Carly, only to the woman she became." After character assassination and a recast.

"That's one way to look at it." Sonny admitted reluctantly.

Alright time for the devils advocate. "Let's say you two stay together, for the sake of your promise, and Michael, you have to know that's not right either. I was the prototypical stay together until the kids reach 18 kid. Trust me when I say, it would have been so much better for everyone if they had split when I was 8, instead of waiting for me to graduate. Children know what is going on in their house. They know when someone wants to be there as compared to someone who has to be there. Wasn't that one of Jason's biggest fears for Michael?" Sonny remained quiet when I finished, I only hoped he was listening.

"That was one of the reasons Jason gave Michael up." Sonny said finally. "How did you know that?"

I looked through the window at Elizabeth. "How do you think?"

"She was good for him."

"He was better for her. If only he hadn't had to leave so abruptly, they might have found a way to make it work. If only…" If only Dreamworks hadn't realized how talented he was.

"Why do you say that?" Sonny looked at me curiously.

"She finally admitted she wanted more from him then friendship, and unfortunately he pushed for the whole ball of wax, right off. If he hadn't of, you never know what would have happened." I glanced at Sonny and couldn't resist a shot. "Of course for that to have worked, he would have had to be able to stay in town, and not be expected to leave at a drop of a hat, for weeks, even months at a time."

Sonny looked at me for a long minute before slowly smiling again. "It's been interesting meeting you."

"Likewise Mr. Corinthos." I shook his hand and watched him leave. God I touched him and got goosebumps, how totally high school of me. My thrill faded when Felicia came up beside me.

"Elizabeth I need my to go order." She called into the kitchen.

"Aren't you Felicia Jones?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I thought I recognized you." God this sweetness is so not me. Think end result. "I saw you in the Frisco Jones video didn't I?"

Felicia sat down in surprise. "I'm surprised you remember me that was so long ago."

I know you acted then. "Yeah it stuck with me, you two looked so much in love. Your connection really seemed to shine through." I told her getting to my feet, I wonder if that song is still there. "Excuse me." I crossed to the jukebox. Hot Damn. I punched in my selection and moved back to the counter while the opening strains of All I Need came over the speakers.

I smothered a grin at the dreamy far-off look in Felicia's eyes. Maybe this could work. "You are a luc…er fortunate woman, if I had a man like that I wouldn't let go."

"Thanks." Felicia whispered lurching to her feet and bellowing at her daughter. "Maxie we got to go."

"Why mom?" The teen cried.

"Now Maxie. We have to get ready." Felicia pulled on her arm, and dragged her from Kelly's past an open mouthed Luke who just opened the door.

"Orphey?" He asked.

"Bye Luke, it's been fun." Felicia said in goodbye.

Luke frowned at Mac. "Bubba." He snarled before heading for the counter.

Elizabeth set the bag down with a thud. "Stephanie what did you say to her to send her out of here like that?"

"Me?" I put on the innocent face that always worked on my dad. "I didn't do a thing, she just started muttering Frisco, and then was gone."

Elizabeth eyed me warily, before turning to Luke. "Luke can you look at the oven? The burner is flaring up, and we have a take out for ABC to get ready."

Luke's eyes lit at the prospect. "You mean I'm not banned from the kitchen anymore Darlin?"

"I said check the burner not cook." Elizabeth said quickly, heading back inside the kitchen.

Luke frowned.

"Cheer up, she was only an imitation, and a poor one at that." I said.

"What?" He looked at me.

"I said, do you want me to distract her so you can cook. You know them executives at ABC would probably be dying for some real food."

"Yeah that channel has gone down hill, ever since they cancelled Fantasy Island." Luke muttered.

"You know now is the perfect time, to show them your displeasure." Luke cooking for the ABC executives could definitely be a good thing.

Luke got to his feet and ambled for the kitchen. "I just may."

I swallowed a smile, who was next on my hit list?

"Dara I'm just telling you I'm serious about those harassment charges, you need to warn Taggert off, or I will file them."

Oh good, she's one of my favorites.

Alexis Davis sat down beside me. She looked even more beautiful in person. This counter was certainly the happening spot today. She smiled at me in greeting before opening a menu.

Let's see if the Sexis gods are listening. I let out a small laugh.

"Is something amusing?" Alexis asked, when I laughed again louder this time.

"Sorry I was just thinking about a friend of mine named Mary." I said in set up.

"Oh." Alexis turned back to her menu.

Now that just wasn't going to do at all, it was time to be a rude American. "You see she met this guy, who she was crazy about, and everything was great until he proposed."

"Mm-mmm."

'Yeah he proposed and all of a sudden she started having these awful nightmares about his family, and losing her identity, becoming a pair, instead of the person she had worked so hard to be." I saw her sit upright beside me so I knew I had her attention.

"Those are very valid fears." 

"Yes I suppose, but it was real extreme in her case, it got to the point that she started to hyperventilate at the mention of the wedding and ever after with him. Wasn't that ridiculous?" I asked turning to her with amusement on my face.

Alexis paled. "Isn't it."

"I mean if you really love someone, and they love you, you don't lose yourself in them, they help set you free." I said.

"So what happened with your friend? Did they work it out?"

"No, it seems this whole time, she had another friend. That was all he was a friend. A lot of times it didn't even seem like they liked each other that much, but they respected each other, and were aware of each other when one was in the room. It didn't happen over night, she didn't suddenly look up, and realize she was in love with him. They had both been involved with other people, and didn't want to get hurt again, they also didn't want to risk the friendship. But gradually, she realized that the person she shared the most with, her history, her fears, wasn't her former fiancé, the person she thought she was in love with, but with him her friend."

Alexis frowned at her hand. "So what happened with your friend?"

"Oh Mary is married to her friend now, and has two daughters. He didn't trap her, he set her free. She hasn't hyperventilated since."

"What can I get you Alexis?" Elizabeth asked from the other side of the counter.

"Nothing I got to go." Alexis said getting to her feet. "Thanks for the story." She said before hurrying out the door.

"Stephanie…."

"What did I do?" I asked then changed the subject. "How come you haven't asked me what I want?"

She glared at me. "Fine what do you want?"

"Well I've driven all the way to Port Chuckles, I need to have some of Ruby's famous chili don't I?"

"Fine I'll get you some, just don't scare off anymore customers while I'm gone." Elizabeth said in warning.

"Elizabeth can I get a Rueben to go?" A male voice called from behind me.

"Sure Nikolas, have a seat. Say hi to my cousin Stephanie." Elizabeth pointed to me, before she left.

I glanced over at Nikolas, thankfully he didn't have his sax with him. It's not that I disliked Coltin Scott, because I didn't I even liked him on some level, but he just wasn't Nikolas. Tyler was Nikolas. I guess I was old school. But still, you got to play with the hand you're dealt with. "Hi Nikolas, it's nice to finally meet you."

"You too, I must admit I don't remember Elizabeth talking about you before." Nikolas perched on the stool beside me.

That could be a good thing. "Well she has talked about you a lot. I must say I'm glad you and Gia broke up, I know Elizabeth was relieved too."

Nikolas frowned, "Wh…"

"I know you cared for her, that's why Elizabeth tried not to put you in the middle of you and her. But after blackmailing Emily, and then trying to blackmail Elizabeth. It was hard for her, but she certainly tried."

"Gia has changed since then." Nikolas said slowly.

"I would hope so. I realize I have no right to say anything bad about the girl after all I've never met her. But after the way she attacked Elizabeth there is no way to excuse that." I paused as if I was afraid I let something slip. Actually I was hoping he would ask.

"In what way? Elizabeth seemed to give as good as she got." Nikolas said.

Score one for the visitor. "It was a while ago, and Elizabeth didn't want you to know about it. But since you've broken up there's no reason for you not to know is there?" I leaned closer to him. "During the whole Face competition, after Laura had told you four that Elizabeth was going to be the new face. Gia came by, and under the guise of support, she was telling Elizabeth that she was relieved that she wouldn't be the Face. Relieved because of all the strange men that would be fantasizing about Elizabeth, becoming obsessed with her, her picture would be everywhere. People would know her wherever she went, stalkers, rapists would be fixated on her." That still bothered me. "I just can't forgive someone throwing Elizabeth's experience in her face like that. Can you?"

Nikolas looked pasty.

"I mean she didn't come out and say she knew Elizabeth was raped, but she dropped enough hints that Elizabeth figured it out." Not really but Elizabeth need never know about this discussion. "I mean to take the biggest fear any woman has and use it as a weapon just to get a job? That's not right is it Nikolas?"

As if coming out of a daze, Nikolas shook his head.

"I wasn't here for Elizabeth then, but you saw how hard she had to fight to get her life back after that happened. You were there when Tom Baker locked Emily and her in a closet, you saw how traumatized she was. I can't believe another woman would use that against her." I shrugged. "Elizabeth never told you, out of respect for your feelings, but since you and Gia are over, there's no reason for you not to know now is there?"

"No there's not." Nikolas agreed.

Alright this Nikolas is not terrible so why not push for something I want, after all it's only a dream. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Who was your first friend in Port Charles?"

"Emily." Nikolas answered immediately, but his eyes were still unfocused.

"Who is your best friend?"

"Emily." He was beginning to focus again.

"And where is your best friend? The one who stood by you when you were shot and couldn't speak, the one who helped you when you found out about Stefan and his lies? The one who helped you with Katherine Belle, the realization that your uncle faked his death? Do you know where she is now?"

Nikolas looked shocked. "No I don't know."

I sighed heavily and shook my head. "It's a pity, she was there for you, but when she went through the drugs, she was alone, when she was kidnapped, you sent Lucky for her, when she was shot at, you didn't even call her, when she was in her accident, you never even went and saw her." I glared at him. "That's not really a friendship is it?"

"Will you tell Elizabeth I had to leave, Stephanie, there are some people I need to see." Nikolas said abruptly before heading to the door.

"That's it. Get outside." Elizabeth snapped when she came out with the to go order and saw another empty stool.

"What did I do?" I tried to be innocent, but it didn't work. "Fine I'll go out into the heat. But you just lost your tip."

I settled at an outside table with my chili, in time to see A.J. Quatermaine and Skye Chandler or was it Quatermaine part ways. A.J. passed me heading for the door that was just not going to do. "Hey Frankie, Frankie Brady." I practically yelled the name after him.

A.J. paused at the door and turned around. "Were you talking to me? Because my name is not Frankie."

"It's not? You looked exactly like this guy named Frankie who used to live in Salem." I shrugged. "Well I guess those were the Days."

A.J. walked back to me. "My name is A.J. Quartermaine." He said extending his hand.

"Stephanie." Alright he is a lot cuter in real life, and I used to have a raging crush on him when he was Frankie, so I decided to play nice…at least for now. "I was wondering if I would meet a Quartermaine on this visit. I've heard so much about you all, I feel as if I know you."

A.J. sat down across from me. "You can't believe everything you hear."

"Not even from my cousin, Elizabeth?" I asked.

"Elizabeth is your cousin?" He asked with a smile. "Well she might have a clearer view then most, because Emily is her best friend, but she is also influenced by Jason."

Even his name can hurt, so moving on. "So is the red-head your new girlfriend? You two seem to have some sparks going on there."

He had the decency to look appalled. "Actually she's my half-sister."

"Sorry, you two look nothing alike. But I guess genetics are a fickle thing."

"Yes I suppose it is." A.J. agreed.

"I went through that whole phase when I was growing up, that I just knew I was adopted, that was why I didn't fit in with my family, why I looked nothing like them, why nothing I ever did was good enough." Okay this idea is out there, but there is precious little chemistry on the show these days, so why not. "I thought I was switched at birth, adopted, something, because I sure didn't fit in with the rest. You probably never did though."

A.J. was quiet. "Actually…"

"What?" I asked as if I didn't already know.

"There was some confusion with my birth for the first year or so of my life anyway." He said quietly almost to himself. "But it finally got resolved and I was accepted."

"Do you ever wonder…." I trailed off.

"Wonder what?"

"What would have happened if it worked out the other way? That you really were someone else's son?"

A.J. was quiet and I began to eat my chili, it really was good. I only hoped Luke hadn't touched it.

"For that to be true, it would mean I lose the family I already have." A.J. said finally.

"Maybe, but after what 30 years, you figure they would love you no matter what, and maybe you would find another family who would love you unconditionally too."

"I need to go." A.J. got to his feet and walked out of the Courtyard.

I glanced to the door, thankfully Elizabeth hadn't seen me run that one off. The door opened and Mac Scorpio walked out.

"What was that name again?" I asked myself loudly digging into my purse. "Here it is Anna Devane Lavery Scorpio."

Mac came to an abrupt stop. "What name did you say?"

"What, oh Anna Devane Lavery Scorpio." I repeated.

"Where did you hear that name?" He demanded.

"Oh I met her, in Pine Valley, New York, lovely woman very pretty, with dark hair, she's British. I met her at a winery called Wildwind in Pine Valley."

Mac's thanks was tossed over his shoulder as he ran towards his car.

"Watch it Mac."

The voice triggered an instant reaction in me, it caused me to suck in my stomach, and sit upright. "Mr. Jack's right?"

Jax paused by my table. "Yes it is, do I know you?"

"No we've never met, but I know some people you are familiar with." I looked up at him, even with the Caesar do, he was still good looking.

Jax sat down, "And who would that be?"

"Several women in your life actually, Lois Curello, Brenda Barrett, V. Ardnowski, Alexis Davis." Blondes don't count in my world.

"Well that is an eclectic group. It's funny that I haven't met you then, Ms?" He held out his hand.

"My name is Stephanie." I shook it, damn but this hand was getting all the fun today. "Not really eclectic, they're all strong, independent woman."

"True, so how did you meet them?"

"Well I used to help out at L&B with Brenda and Lois, you know concert details. V. gave me a few tickets when she was with the Sheriff's department. And as for Alexis, well a good attorney can be hard to find, can't it?" Okay did that sound believable? I hope so. "They all leave an impression on you." Unlike insipid women who only wear white.

"Yes they do." Jax agreed.

"I about keeled over in shock last week though. I swear I saw Brenda Barrett in Malibu, near the beach. The woman must have thought I was a stalker, I followed her to this real nice beach house on Novo Lane." I shook my head, was that right street name, god why haven't my Brenda/Jax tapes come yet?

"You saw her?" Jax demanded.

"Yes. It was quite freaky actually. Her hair was shorter though, and she had lightened it somewhat, but it was definitely her."

Jax's cell phone chose that moment to ring, so I went back to my chili and eavesdropped.

"Look Angel I'm afraid you're on your own, I need to go out of town." Jax was saying.

Ugh Loon Lake woman.

"I don't respond to ultimatums so this will end our relationship then." Jax said coldly hanging up.

Happy Dance

"It was nice to meet you Stephanie." Jax said in farewell

"Stephanie!" Elizabeth frowned at me with her hands on her hips.

Okay I had covered about everyone I could think of, I had no real desire to see Shaggy or loon woman, so it was time to cut this dream short. I got to my feet and followed Elizabeth into the deserted diner. It was time for the gloves to come off. "Are you still mad about what I said about Lucky?"

"You have no idea what is going on with me and Lucky, so you have no right to say anything." Elizabeth snapped.

"Pardon me for caring when you start walking around like a prop for your boyfriend, I thought you had more self-respect than that. Weren't you the one who said you weren't going to follow someone around like a dog? I guess Lucky doesn't need a dog when he has you."

"I can't believe you said that." Elizabeth yelled throwing down her rag.

Oh my god, Elizabeth still is in there, so there is still some hope for her. "Why? Does the truth hurt?"

"You know this is why we barely see each other." Elizabeth snapped. "You're rude, argumentative, opinionated…"

"You forgot bitchy, and right." I retorted. "And before you flame me, that was how you used to be too."

"Lucky loves me, he needs me, I have to help him."

"You know I knew you could be selfish, I knew you were loyal, but I never realized until now just how arrogant you are." I moved past her to lean against the counter.

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth demanded.

"You are arrogant enough to believe that making Lucky settle for your half-assed love will be enough to make him happy."

"Settle, what the hell do you mean?"

"You may have chosen to turn your back, on stomach dropping, electricity burning touches, needs for someone that turn into cravings, looks that make your mouth dry up, and the tingling you get when he walks in the room." I studied her while I talked, her eyes went soft, and I knew she was remembering. "But you're making Lucky give up that chance too, and that is not only selfish, but it is also arrogant. You're telling yourself, that you have to be there for him, because he needs you. And yet will he thank you for it in the long run, once he realizes that he settled for half love, instead of finding someone that made him burn?"

"What makes you think that Lucky doesn't feel that way about me?" She asked shakily.

"Because his eyes don't follow you when you're in the room, he doesn't tense in awareness when you walk in, he doesn't listen to you think. He thinks for you." I said softly.

"Elizabeth, I'm running this order over to ABC." Luke interrupted us. "You okay Darlin?" He asked in concern when she didn't reply.

"Fine Luke, I need to get something from upstairs." She said softly before heading for the stairs.

Luke shot me a wink and left with his food. Judging from the stains on his shirt, he'd helped in the preparation of their food.

I turned around and sat at the counter with a sigh. Well my work, such as it was, was done. "Time to go now, Al, Ziggy are you listening? It's time to leap out of here." Now I was thinking I was Scott Bakula.

"You liked Quantum Leap too?"

It couldn't be my dreams aren't that good. I held my breath and turned around slowly. SHIT, it was him. Jagger Cates, or Antonio Sabato, Jr. was behind me. Oh GOD he was smiling at me, now that was a dimple. He's fading to black, why is he doing that? I'm not breathing that's why. I wrote about this, I know how to breathe, you do something with your nose and toes right?

"Are you okay?" He asked moving closer.

God he smelled great, how the hell do you breathe? I remembered and let the air I was holding out in a whoosh.

He looked at me strangely and took a slight step back.

"Hiccups." I said.

"What?"

"I mean I had the hiccups and I was holding my breath to try to get rid of them." Holy cow I just said a complete sentence in a conversation with Jagger. My mom would be so proud.

"I thought you were supposed to scare someone for that to work." He sat in the ever-popular stool beside me.

No sexual frustration will work. "That works too. So what brings you back Jagger?" Two sentences and a question damn I'm good.

"I'm moving back." He turned slightly towards me, "How did you know my name? Have we met?"

Only in my repeated fantasies. "I knew you from before, you didn't notice me, first Brenda then Karen kept you pretty busy."

He held out his hand. "Well let's change that. What's your name."

I was going to touch him, I was going to touch Jagger, I was going to die. "It's Stephanie." I held out my hand.

****

"Van Dorn Street Station, Doors open Left Side"

The conductor's announcement pulled me from my sleep, and I couldn't help but give a scream of frustration. That was worse than the alarm clock. The other people on the Metro looked at me rather strangely but I ignored them and got off the train. That was proof that God had a twisted since of humor.

I was still upset when I walked into my apartment 20 minutes later. I looked at my laptop, I wondered who had posted, since I had to work late. Since JT was back maybe there was more, Eliza could have returned, Deb, Amy, Blue Eyes, Elizabeth Morgan, Tara, shaken, Calla, Puck, it wasn't the weekend yet but maybe North had a mid week surprise for us. My eyes fell on my notebook, and I stopped my dreaming, I was supposed to write tonight. That is what I promised myself anyway.

I frowned at my notebook, it was my HGM one, the only thing was I wasn't in the mood to write that one. I knew I was going to have to write a shooting, and I wasn't mad enough to do that. I was frustrated but not mad. I glanced at my watch 10:00, GH was coming on Soapnet. About two minutes of that and I would be ready to kill someone.

I sat down, turned on the TV in time to hear the opening credits.

__

"I know it will take time, but sometimes it gets frustrating, she remembers more daily, is it so wrong to want her to remember me?" Jax asked a dark haired woman we could only see from behind.

"Jax you have to be patient. You found her that's the important thing, she's not sick, and she's not going to be sick, so were lucky, it'll just take time."

"LOIS!!!!! Lois is back? They found who?" I can't help but be elated.

__

Lois moved to the couch. "Hey Bren, does anything look familiar?"

"Brenda is back too, and they're in their old penthouse? What did they do to A.J.? Who cares Brenda's back."

__

"Nothing looks familiar Lois, I lived here, with him?" Brenda asked jerking her head towards Jax. "Were we happy?"

"Bren I've never seen you happier?" Lois said taking her hands.

"Then why can't I remember him. I remember you, Ned, Sonny, everything but not him." Brenda said. "The last thing I remember was Miguel."

"It'll just take time Brenda. Remember the doctor said not to rush it." Lois patted her hand soothingly.

"I want to see Sonny." Brenda said.

"I told you Bren he's married." 

"But not to Lily, to someone else right?"

"Yes he's married and they're raising a child together."

"I still need to see him." Brenda said. "I don't think he'll care, he seems pretty tight with her." She gestured towards Jax.

"Who is he cozy with? If it's loon woman I'm going to hurl."

__

"You know you didn't have to come back to the states with us." Jax was saying.

"You hate to admit that you needed my help." V said.

"V!! I get V, Lois, and Brenda God I'm so happy."

__

"You did have your moments." Jax said with a sly grin.

"For which you should be very grateful, or you could still be hanging on the side of that building in Malta." V answered with a teasing smile of her own.

"Thanks." Jax gave her a hug.

Brenda saw that from her place on the couch and frowned.

The phone rang and Jax answered it. "V it's Simon for you." He held out the phone to her.

V took the receiver, shielded the phone from his view, and pressed down to disconnect the call. She waited for the dial tone, before speaking. "Hello Simon."

"Oh what is going on with wishy-washy Simon, and why do I not care?" Commercials came on but I was too afraid to move, this could all be a mirage, and that would be truly evil.

__

"Grandmother." A.J. said bending down to kiss her cheek.

"Hello my dear, it's good to see you." Lila patted his hand.

"I was looking for mom, is she around?" A.J. asked.

"She's taking a walk." Lila studied him. "You look serious my dear is anything wrong?"

"With everything that is going on with Michael, I'm curious about what happened with me, when I was born. For a long time Alan, thought I wasn't his son. I'm not trying to blame that for all of my problems, but I have to wonder if I felt that as a baby. I don't want Michael to feel that way." A.J. walked to the minibar and opened a bottle of water, so he missed Lila's frown. "So I thought if I had all the details about that, I could help Michael if he needed it." He turned back to Lila. "I'll talk to her another time, I'm really not in the mood to see Grandfather."

Lila's smile lasted until he left the room, then turned into a frown. "Reggie."

"Yes Lila." Reginald came in the room quickly.

"I need to make a phone call, please see I am not disturbed." Lila said, moving her wheelchair to the desk.

"What is she up to? Eddie's the tricky one isn't he? Man I wish I popped popcorn, this is getting good."

__

"Hello."

"Lesley, this is Lila Quartermaine."

Lesley Webber took a step away from her Granddaughter Lesley Lu. "Hello Lila, what can I do for you?"

"A.J. just paid me a visit, he wants to research the history of his birth. I want to make sure that there is nothing for him to find."

Lesley paled and twisted the phone cord in her hand. "He won't find a thing."

"I hope not, for all of our sakes." Lila said.

Reginald was outside the door. "What secret is she talking about now? I better find out, if Lila didn't want it discovered, it wouldn't be."

"Gotta love Reggie and his loyalty to Lila." I grinned only to groan when my phone rang. I muted the TV. "Hey Lily, I can't talk now, GH is on, and it's good." I said quickly turning back to the set just in time.

"Ugh Luke and Bobbie, that's why I tape the show, so I don't have to watch this." I moaned lying back on the couch. Well the show couldn't be perfect.

__

"I know she's your friend Bobbie, and I do care about her, it's just she's not Laura, she's not my angel, and I will never feel the same for her, that she feels about me." Luke said, not knowing that Felicia just walked in behind him and stood frozen in the doorway.

"Luke she ended her marriage for you." Bobbie was equally unaware of Felicia.

"No that marriage was on the big D train before I got involved. She's clinging and I don't want to hurt her, she helped me through some tough times, but there's nothing else there."

Felicia turns around and leaves before the pair sees her.

"Way to go Luke. Get into that triangle with Laura and Scottie. Won't that be fun? Okay now where are we? The hospital."

__

"You've done a lot here Alan, we heard about the changes you made here, even in Chicago, haven't we Sean?"

"Sean and Tiffany are back. Holy cripes."

__

"So are you back for good Tiffany?" Alan asked.

"It depends. Sean was offered the police commissioner job since Mac quit. The baby is older now, about ready for kindergarten and Sean's in the best shape of his life, so I'm thinking about letting him take it." Tiffany replied.

Sean smiled at his wife. "Yes we're back for good, and I'm taking the job."

"Sean." Tiffany cried and was swatting him on the arm when the elevator opened. "Oh my god."

Anna Devane Lavery Scorpio, walked off the elevator, on the arm of a good-looking brown-haired man.

"Anna?" Tiffany gasped, reaching for her long dead friend.

Anna paused and studied the woman before moving onto the stunned man beside her. Recognition flashed in her eyes and she reacted quickly, punching Sean in the mouth. "Edmund we need to leave."

"Anna calm down." Edmund said, "Who is that man?"

"He tried to kill me." Anna said glaring at a prone Sean, who was staring up at her in shock.

"Yeah but that was years ago Anna, unless something else happened while you were gone?"

__

"Ex-partner." Luke sat at a table.

Sonny looked at him. "What do you need Luke?"

Luke glared. "I can't just say hello?"

"Luke you haven't just said hello to me in years." Sonny leaned back in his chair.

"Alright. I'll make this short. Do you want back in?"

"In what?" Sonny asked with a smirk.

Luke gritted his teeth. "The club, the IRS seems to have taken quite an interest in me, and I could use some income, same rules as before would apply, so are you?"

"I don't know Luke."

"One way or the other Corinthos." Luke snapped.

"Is it too much to ask nicely?" Sonny shot back.

"Forget it." Luke shot to his feet.

"No wait, what about deLucca? He won't be happy to see me." Sonny said.

Luke snorted, "That bum took off with the blonde nurse from the hospital, so he's out of the picture."

"Then I'm in." Sonny held out his hand.

"Good." Luke shook it.

"Admit it Luke, you want me back so I can take over the books again." Sonny said with a grin.

"Laugh if you want, but I hate to break it to you. Morgan was better with the books than you were and they haven't balanced since he left." Luke hit him on the back. "Good luck. Natasha." He said in passing.

"Yes their partnership/friendship is back. I'm loving this, I wonder who wrote it?"

__

"Dr. Quartermaine with Sorel dead, I just want to see her. I have missed her, and I treated her abominably before she left. I need to repair our friendship."

"Oh my god the Prince has entered the building, look no contractions, proper English. Tyler is back."

__

"I don't know Nikolas, she was hurt that you didn't even come to see her when she was at GH." Monica said running her hand over the roses in Lila's garden.

"I cannot even begin to explain what happened or how sorry I am, but I would like to try. Please may I go see her?" Nikolas asked.

Monica sighed. "I'll get you her address, but you can't tell anyone else. Not even Zander knows where she is."

"Believe me Dr. Quartermaine I will not tell Zander." Nikolas reassured her with a smile.

"Oh boy, this is going to be good. I only hope Amber is back too."

__

"I have the papers, they just need your signature and they can be served on Carly this afternoon." Alexis held out some papers, with a blue backing.

"That was quick." Sonny took the papers, but made no move to sign them.

"Are you sure about this Sonny?" Alexis asked after a minute.

"Yes I know we're over, it's just hard admitting you made a mistake." Sonny said softly before signing his name. "There you go."

"I'll take care of this right away." Alexis got to her feet, and Sonny joined her.

"How about dinner?" Sonny asked.

"After what happened last time, are you crazy?" Alexis asked moving outside.

"But this time I will cook." Sonny told her with a persuasive grin on his face.

Alexis paused a beat. "What time should I be there?"

"I'll pick you up at 8:00." Sonny said heading away.

"Sonny it's across the hall, why are you picking me up?"

"My mother always told me to always pick the girl up and see her home, when I go on a date." Sonny explained and left.

"Date?" Alexis repeated.

"Keep your scrawny butt away from my husband." Carly whipped Alexis around by the shoulder.

"To quote JewelTones CATFIGHT. Damn another commercial."

__

"Lucien, Lucien wake up."

"Oh God she's in bed with him, at least I missed the doing the deed part."

__

"Lucien." Gia poked him in the shoulder again. His eyes were halfway opened and staring at the ceiling. "Oh God." She whispered when she felt for a pulse.

Gia crawled out of the bed, with the sheet wrapped around her. "Oh god he's dead."

"What have you done to my son?" Helena burst into the room.

"Son?" Gia repeated while Helena crossed to the bed to check his pulse.

"Oh my darling Stavros, what has she done to you?" Helena moaned, kissing him.

"Stavros, Nikolas's dad Stavros?" Gia demanded.

"Yes the Prince of the Cassadine's, my beloved son Stavros." Helena cried, getting to her feet, she moved to a room service table that was still set up in the room. Her hand closed over a knife that was there. "You shall pay for killing him." She turned and lunged for Gia.

"Whoa she melted the Popsicle and Psycho Granny is not pleased." Commercial time again, and I have to go to the bathroom, who knew this show would get so good again, that I would be doing the bathroom dance? Not much time left I can wait.

__

"Marcus can you come?" Gia said tearfully into the phone. "I think I killed her." She stared at a lifeless Helena on the floor, a knife jutting out of her stomach.

"Whoa and the psycho is toast."

__

Karen Wexler was sitting at the counter at Kelly's taking to Tammy.

"What is this old home week? That's Cari Shayne the original Karen does that mean that Jagger is back too? Tell me?" I'm reduced to begging my TV again, how rude.

__

The strands of Daniel Lavoie's Woman to Man fill the diner, and Karen tenses at the counter, while Tammy moves into the kitchen.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Oh god I'm in heat."

__

"Jagger?" Karen turns slowly to face her ex-husband. "What are you doing here?"

Jagger tucked his hands in his back pockets.

"Nice butt shot."

__

"Looking for you." He said with a lazy smile.

"Why, I think we settled everything a few years ago, or didn't get the message with the divorce papers?" Karen asked getting to her feet.

"No Stephanie told me."

"HE SAID MY NAME."

__

"But there is a lot that you don't know, about what was going on then, a lot that you need to know." Jagger went on.

"Too little too late Jagger, we're over, I've moved on. I have someone in my life now, who actually want's to come home to me." Karen said.

Jagger moved closer backing her into the counter. "I always wanted to come home to you." His voice was low and electric.

Karen swallowed hard, and shoved past him. "Goodbye Jagger."

Jagger leaned against the counter and popped a toothpick in his mouth while he watched her storm to the door. "Never Goodbye Karen."

Karen turned to glare at him, and then moved out the door.

"I need a drink, a big drink."

__

Elizabeth is sitting on the bench, looking at nothing, in particular. A montage begins to the music I Will Remember You by Sarah Maclachan. Images of her and Jason fill the screen, along with some of their conversations. "Sometimes the thing you had, no matter how good it seemed, isn't right for you anymore."

"Okay I'm going to cry now, the song, the pictures, his voice. Agh…"

__

Elizabeth gets to her feet brushing a tear from her cheek, and moves to the entrance of the park.

Jason enters the other side of the park.

"HE'S BACK. Turn around, turn around." I leaned back on the couch and the TV goes black, causing me to scream. "Where the fuck is the remote?" I fly to the TV and hit the power button on it. "Thank God he's still there."

__

Jason paused by the bench she was sitting at when he sees a sketchpad sitting there. He picks it up and looks at it.

"Jason?"

Jason looks up at Elizabeth who is standing on the stairs watching him. "Elizabeth."

"Are you really here?" She asked when he moved closer to her.

He smiles softly at her. "Yes. It's good to see you."

She reached out for her sketchpad, her hand brushes his when she takes it from him, their eyes lock for a minute. "You once told me that sometimes when you leave, it doesn't change how you feel about a person, instead it makes the feelings even clearer."

"I remember." Jason said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I didn't leave, you did. But it still worked." Her eyes locked on his. "I told you before you left that I wanted more than a friendship from you. Then you asked for everything and I wasn't ready for that."

"Are you ready now?" He asked bringing his hands up to touch her face.

Her free hand reached up and covered his hand on her face. "Yes." He leaned closer until their faces were inches apart, then she moved into him, and brought her lips up to meet his.

The sketchpad fell to the ground, when her hand moved up to lock around his neck, the kiss deepened, and his hands dropped to her waist. Then the screen faded to black.

"Oh my god nothing beats a contrived romance." I say brushing the tears from my eyes. "I'm such a friggin sap."

__

"Tomorrow on General Hospital."

"I killed her didn't I?" Gia asked Marcus.

Marcus crossed to her, and gave her a hug. "I will handle this."

~*~

"Surprise."

"Nikolas is that really you?"

"It is Amber!"

__

~*~

"Jax I need to see Sonny." Brenda said.

~*~

"Hi Nedly." Lois said shooting a smile at Ned when she opened the door.

~*~

"Carly you saved me a trip here's your divorce papers." Alexis said sweetly.

~*~

"Jeff, this is a surprise." Audrey opened the door.

"I know but I wanted to surprise you and Lizzie." Jeff walked past her into the house.

~*~

"Are you sure?" Jason asked.

"Get you damn hands off of her." Lucky yelled charging Jason.

"Lucky stop it, we're over." Elizabeth screamed.

~*~

"This episode is in memory of our former Executive Producer and writing staff, who were hospitalized due to severe food poisoning, and will be unable to return to GH."

"OOPS." I say with a smile. "So who the hell wrote this then?"

Executive Producer: Sweetie 312

Head Writer:ILETUDRIVE

Writers:JewelTonesEliza

JasonholicJulianna1975

Debbie V68PallasGoddess

ElizabethMorganLoveLiason

BlueEyesCatMomJen

Shaken_AngelKhalakh

PuckNorthoftheBorder

Donna the GreatGoofyAlways

MavenAmyB

DelphinelovinJason

Anna ScorpioQuciksilver

LukesgrrrlSusanem

ToolioJammies

GagaforjasonLily

TreecieLuv…

"Wait Gaga and Lily? If they wrote this, where the hell is the smut? Damn those network censors." I groused, missing the rest of the names on the screen. Numbly I switch off the TV, I glance to my right at all the Liason stories that I have printed off that spanned a good portion of the wall. Then I look at my notebooks by my computer, notebooks that I knew were packed full of ideas, and chapters for Liason stories that just needed to be typed. Next I glance at my table and the next wave of Wanted posters that were there in envelopes waiting to be stamped and mailed. "What the fuck am I supposed to write about now?"


End file.
